Instincts 02: Altruism

In our first post on instincts, we explored the powerful drive of self-preservation and how it shapes our personal lives, relationships, and society. Now, we look beyond the self, turning to an instinct at least as significant: altruism. For our purposes I consider altruism as the act of caring for others, sharing resources, and ensuring fairness. It has profoundly shaped human evolution and culture. Understanding this instinct is essential, not just because it explains our success as a species, but because it holds the key to thriving together in an interconnected world.

Why Altruism Matters: Evolution’s Secret Weapon

Early humans did not thrive due to superior strength, speed, or aggression when compared to the other animals or proto-humans. Instead, our greatest evolutionary advantage was our ability to cooperate, share resources, and ensure fairness within our communities. Altruism wasn’t simply a nice sentiment, it was a powerful survival strategy.

Anthropological studies highlight how hunter-gatherer groups that shared generously outcompeted groups that did not. Those who cooperated closely had higher resilience during shortages, healthier children, and stronger, more cohesive communities. In fact, studies of surviving hunter-gatherer societies show they often use humour and mockery to discourage selfishness and excess, maintaining social equilibrium and cooperation. Encounters with primitive societies in the 19th and 20th centuries produced numerous accounts of a “sense of entitlement” among those groups. They describe the tribesmen innocently believing that the white man would willingly part with any number of his possessions since he seemed to have far more than he could possibly want, and so that would of course be the right thing to do. This drive towards fairness and generosity ensured their collective survival and success.

Our Deeply Generous Nature: Evidence from Childhood

Remarkably, the instinct for altruism and fairness is evident from infancy. Developmental psychologists have observed that even very young children naturally want to help others, share resources, and cooperate. Studies have consistently demonstrated that toddlers spontaneously share food and toys and especially things they have learned. They assist others without prompting, and express genuine distress at seeing others in pain or discomfort.

When allowed to learn and play freely with games of their own making, most children naturally choose cooperation and fairness. They actively modify rules to include all players, adjusting difficulty or conditions so everyone can succeed. Rather than enjoying dominance, most children genuinely prefer it when all participants are happy, thriving, and included.

Yet, something changes as children grow older, especially when formal schooling enters their lives. As I’ve discussed previously in posts about education, the emphasis on individual grading, rankings, and competitive structures often discourages natural cooperation. Children who initially share openly and freely learn that cooperation may be penalised, while competition, even ruthless self-interest, is often rewarded.

Scarcity and the Erosion of Altruism

When we observe selfish or overly competitive behaviour in children or adults, we should not interpret it as human nature. More likely, it reflects a learned belief in scarcity and genuine sense of insecurity. These are mindsets often picked up unconsciously from adults around them. When parents, teachers, or communities model competitive, anxious behaviours and prioritise individual success at all costs, children internalise this scarcity mindset and the associated instincts become primed. In contrast, when adults model generosity, fairness, and cooperation, children naturally reinforce these positive instincts.

Fairness and Generosity in Human Cultures

For more than 90% of the 300,000 year history of humanity, pagan religions and indigenous spiritualities emphasised fairness and respectful sharing of resources. This ethos of reciprocity and gratitude fostered harmony not just with one another, but with every aspect of the natural world, which they recognised themselves as entwined with. All major modern religions including Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, similarly emphasise generosity, compassion, and care for those in need as core tenets. The consistency of altruism across both primitive cultures and the diverse cultures and faiths that arose thereafter are strong indications that fairness and generosity have played a fundamental role in our historical development.

And even now in our increasingly competitive and independence focussed societies, we see altruism appear in force in times of great adversity, especially where there is tribal affiliation. Anyone with first-hand experience of natural disasters in urbanised areas is likely to have found immense support from within the community directly and from outside, with donations of money, clothing and supplies often vastly exceeding the ability of the relevant agencies to effectively distribute it.

How Civilization Suppressed Altruism

Yet, the rise of modern economies, beginning with settled agriculture and advancing in leaps with feudalism, industrialisation and colonialism and globalisation introduced dramatic inequality. The dominant cultures shifted incentives away from collective sharing. Wealth, power, and resources continue to concentrate in fewer hands, often suppressing or overriding natural altruistic impulses. A tiny minority of people, whose instincts for altruism and cooperation have diminished, achieve and maintain power through economic, military, or political domination. This minority’s lack of altruism, however, should not be considered representative of human nature as a whole; rather, it highlights how societal structures can suppress natural human instincts. And, without wanting to sound conspiratorial, consider how threatening widespread sharing and cooperation would be to established economic models.

Our Family’s Journey Back to Altruism

Emelie and I experienced our own transformative journey with altruism. Initially, we were naive, then cautious, even cynical about charitable giving. Early volunteering experiences in Southeast Asia in 2006 left us uncertain about our impact and effectiveness. We found that some of the larger charities we researched were paying their directors eye-watering salaries. And that national aid agencies such as AusAID are mostly focussed on how to appear to be generous while favouring Australian businesses over efficacy in meeting project goals. Yet, as we encountered the Effective Altruism movement and thoughtful frameworks like The Life You Can Save and Giving What We Can, we recognised that meaningful altruism was not just possible, but deeply rewarding and thoroughly compelling. The idea that some charities are vastly more effective than others and knowledge this has been rigorously investigated unpicked our cynicism. Learning that just a portion of income was sufficient to save multiple lives every year was the final nudge we needed to shift our focus to greater giving.

Today, our family intentionally devotes around 25% of our annual income to rigorously assessed charities recommended by these organisations. The results have been tangible: clean water, malaria prevention, basic healthcare, and direct income support have changed thousands of lives. These deliberate acts of generosity aren’t sacrifices. They’ve enriched our lives profoundly, deepening our sense of meaning, community, and connection.

When we committed to the Living More with Less project, it was this renewed understanding of altruism that guided our choices. We realised we had enough, and sharing our resources with others enhanced our lives far more than accumulating more could ever achieve.

Our Family’s Journey: Navigating Scarcity and Abundance

In our family, navigating altruism and fairness has not always been straightforward. Emelie and I often find ourselves caught between two conflicting realities. On one hand, we accept the genuine scarcity of natural resources, our own time and the planet’s limited capacity. On the other, we recognise the incredible material and information abundance that shapes our daily lives, surpassing what most humans have ever experienced historically and today elsewhere in the world.

This balancing act deeply influences our parenting, lifestyle choices, and the values we want our children to embrace. We’re constantly reflecting on how to communicate these complexities without overwhelming our children or ourselves. It’s a delicate line between awareness and anxiety, generosity and caution.

Fairness, Fear, and Sharing: Snack Foods

One tangible illustration of this struggle appears in our weekly dilemna of snack food allocation. We intentionally limit the amount we bring home, partly due to sustainability concerns and partly to maintain simplicity and health in our lives. Yet, this intentional scarcity often triggers arguments between Adam and Dani.

They carefully measure fairness. They count portions, recall who chose first last time, and try to ensure absolute equality. Beneath these squabbles is something deeper: an innate instinct for fairness mixed with the understandable fear of missing out. Like many of us, they grapple with abundance and scarcity simultaneously.

However, when left to their own devices, we notice something reassuring. Despite occasional arguments, Adam and Dani instinctively care for each other. When one truly needs help or support, the other readily steps forward, setting aside previous disputes to restore balance.

Empathy Beyond the Family

This instinct for fairness extends beyond our home. Adam and Dani frequently demonstrate compassion toward those in our wider community. Adam recently encountered a person experiencing homelessness near our neighbourhood while on his way home from school. Without hesitation, he gave twenty dollars from his own pocket so this individual could afford a taxi and then proceeded to escort him to the phone booth to make a call. Dani eagerly give some of her previously beloved clothes, toys and books as gifts to both her friends and charities. I both envy and worry a little about the mercurial nature of her attachment to goods. Both children willingly allocate part of their pocket money toward global charities. These are organisations they’ve researched and selected themselves, based on their sense of justice and empathy.

These actions reassure us that their innate generosity, and their fundamental desire for fairness, remain strong. Even when obscured momentarily by anxiety about scarcity or personal loss, their deeper instincts prevail. This complexity mirrors the struggles Emelie and I face as adults. We too frequently wrestle with genuine resource limitations and the incredible abundance that marks our everyday lives.

Fairness as Our Guiding Value

The interplay of scarcity and abundance underpins why our Living More with Less project feels meaningful and necessary. It represents our conscious effort to reconcile these tensions. We aim to explore how generosity, cooperation, and fairness can help us live joyfully within genuine ecological limits.

Ultimately, it is this instinctive drive toward fairness that defines our family’s core values. We strive to live in ways that ensure everyone has the opportunity to thrive and experience joy. For us, altruism is not just charity or kindness. It’s the foundation for how we exist in the world. It’s a commitment to justice, compassion, and shared abundance.

In our next post, we will explore acquisitiveness. This is another powerful instinct deeply connected to fairness, and it significantly shapes both our personal choices and the broader society we live in.